i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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