he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
