GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
