Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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