fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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