Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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