i permit you to call me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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