Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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