My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
this hospital has no fireball
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize