ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
