I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Randomize
