I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
