you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This house was built for laser tag.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
