we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
