i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
