I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
