let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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