Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize