eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
