i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize