bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
