You're so nebulous sometimes
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
