What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
