I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
