Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
