U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
