Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
