i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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