did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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