just come out here and I will go home with you...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
