I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
we should paint friendship bongs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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