last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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