We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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