I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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