The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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