My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how do flat chested girls get laid?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
