i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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