Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
