I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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