i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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