sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
