There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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