remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I AM VODKA MAN
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
