then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
