Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
