Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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