I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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