I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
