my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
