Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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