i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
