Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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