Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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