How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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