if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
