is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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