high people should be assigned attendants
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
