Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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