yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
