You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
