He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize